Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway

The death of a close relative, friend or beloved pet can be a one of life’s most difficult experiences.

No matter the circumstances of your loss, there is an array of emotions that weave through you – grief, shock, sadness, deep sense of loss. Those first days after losing someone seem surreal. It is not uncommon to feel that you are in a fog.

Some people find great comfort in the burial traditions set forth by their religion. The prayers and rituals are all in place, and there are clergy people to preside over the funeral and funeral directors to move things along.

Others cannot bear the idea of planning a traditional funeral or burial, or of looking at death from a traditional religious view point.

And some people, with the feelings are so raw, cannot deal with arranging a typical funeral, let alone an event that will require them to meet with and entertain a large group of people right after the death of a loved one.

I went through this with my own father and grandmother. I presided over both their funerals, before I was even an ordained minister.

Over time, I have designed good-bye ceremonies for grieving spouses and families, for friends, and for co-workers who wanted to honor the loss of long time friends.

I like to take a very personal approach to helping people through this experience.

I view remembrance ceremonies and memorials as celebration of the life of the one who has passed on, as well as chance for those who loved that person to find healing in their shared grief and in the experience of sharing their memories.

* You need more time to adjust before dealing with a large group of family and friends.

* You or your departed loved one consider yourselves spiritual but not religious?

* The departed loved one is not at all spiritual.

* The one who has passed over is someone who would rather be remembered by celebrating his or her life.

* You want to create a very personal good-bye ceremony and want to have a sense of control over how it is handled.